Million Dollar Idea

"Saw a great idea for ice build up on roof either throw or put out a window onto roof small paper bags filled w melt pellets. They will melt through ice." Mom's text to me on 2/3/2011

"I just need to throw my landlord up there with a shovel.Lol. Saw on news that over 60 roofs have collapsed in Western MA from snow." my reply.

"So I want u and me to make balls filled w snow pellets. Need to come up with a great name. U know someone is going to do it. Shingle Savers? Weight Lifters?" Mom again.

"Roofies?" Mom texted me back before I could reply.

"Roofies are a drug that date rapists use. LOL" 

"I know 'knock out ice it melts!'" She is on a roll! 

"Ice knocker outers?" I had to put my two cents in.

"What should we enclose the beads in? Something that disintegrates like the wrappers on dish washer detergent which your brother says is cornstarch."

"Yep. Gelatin like vitamin e capsules. We could put salt in bottle rockets so the salt lands on the roof when they explode." Sometimes I just have to go with it. I am my Mother's daughter after all.

"Good one!" 

And that is where today's text messaging tidbit from my Mother ends. Honestly, I can say that this cheered me up. I was having a somewhat blah day. Leave it to my Mom to come to the rescue. If I see an infomercial on television in the next two months about "Shingle Savers", I will never hear the end of it!

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Doggie Do Do

I'm being asphyxiated by Chevy (mom's dog) farts. Yr brother fed him then I did. He's pooped 5 times. It smells like "louise" after eating the squirrel. Mom's text on 2/2/2011

LOL. who is Louise? me

I have been awake all night. he's having diarrhea everywhere. Kath's friend had a dog Louise, who ate squirrels and farted always.

Don't remember that

No? she ate squirrels she was a little dog that would cut terrible wind but the owners never removed her. They'd say "oh thats just Louise!" Haha

Thanks for the memories, Mother! In fact, I am repulsed. Ugh. Dog farts are one of the most vile smells on earth and I didn't need to read about any of this! LMAO
P.S. This is the text I woke up to find on my phone. Unpleasant enough but worse before my first cup of coffee!

Can't wait to see what she texts me tomorrow!

• Are you tired of getting mixed messages about anti aging secrets? What if you could age gracefully and do it naturally without a cart full of chemically laden facial creams and serums?
• Is your body aching beyond its years? Antioxidants can naturally help to relieve aches and pains.
• Over 2,000,000 people have been harmed by taking prescription drugs. 

Fight back and age gracefully with The Anti-Aging Phenomenon

Snow Day

i hope we do thurs though i have cabin fever do u know what time your niece's recital sat since they never call me Mom's text 2/1/2011

didnt know she had one my reply

yeah i can get $5 rabies shot in keene so may come later when u work? Mom's reply to my reply

when? what? me again

on sat. mom

12-6 me

snow on roof of pantry mom (attachment of picture posted on left)


Yes, that is the text message conversation between my mother and I during the awful snow storm that hit New England. A recital, rabies shots, work schedule, a Saturday visit and the snow accumulation outside of my Mother's pantry were covered in 9 lines of text, albeit skewed!
Are you bewildered? I guess it takes growing up with my Mom in order to see this as normal.
I lied...still haven't gotten used to it!

• Are you tired of getting mixed messages about anti aging secrets? What if you could age gracefully and do it naturally without a cart full of chemically laden facial creams and serums?
• Is your body aching beyond its years? Antioxidants can naturally help to relieve aches and pains.
• Over 2,000,000 people have been harmed by taking prescription drugs. 

Fight back and age gracefully with The Anti-Aging Phenomenon

This is the message that started it all...

What's happening in Egypt? Mom's text on 1/30/2011

Really, Mom? She doesn't say "HI" or "How are you?" No, my mother wants me to fill her in on events happening half way around the world. As if I had personal experience! How do you respond to that in a text message?

Hi Mom, The people of Egypt have been inspired by protests that ousted the dictator of Tunisia, Zine El Abidine Ben Ali. They are tired of poverty, corruption, and an autocratic gov't. They would like democracy. Obama will have a tough time supporting change since previous ties 2 Egypt included over a billion $ in military aid from the U.S. This means if the gov't shoot protesters, it will be with U.S. equip. Egyptians want 2 topple Mubarak and so far the protests have become violent with many deaths reported.
Don't 4get we meet for lunch next wed.

After I read my mother's text, I jokingly said to my daughter that I was going to start a blog based on the texts my mother sends to me. She thought it was a good idea.

By the way, I never responded to my mother's text. Usually, when I see texts like this from her I ignore them because I don't have the energy to respond. Responding means that she will reply back, it is a never ending cycle. I also resist in responding because I would text back the first thing that came to mind. That reply would be too rude to send to my Mom. Here's what I wanted to write:

Mom, by the time I reply 2 this u could have turned on the frigging tv and watched the Egyptian events unfold on CNN. Even better, use the internet and Google it! What the hell is wrong with u?

Tune in next time to see what awaits me from my mother in her next messages. I know I am anxiously awaiting!

• Are you tired of getting mixed messages about anti aging secrets? What if you could age gracefully and do it naturally without a cart full of chemically laden facial creams and serums?
• Is your body aching beyond its years? Antioxidants can naturally help to relieve aches and pains.
• Over 2,000,000 people have been harmed by taking prescription drugs. 

Fight back and age gracefully with The Anti-Aging Phenomenon




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