My Comic Gift

I had the biggest crush on my friend and neighbor, Jeffrey, when I was in second grade. Jeff and I also went to school together and played in the sandbox in my back yard or rode bikes together after school. I was invited to his birthday party and was so excited to get him the best gift ever!

My father took me to the toy store and I picked out a shiny truck for Jeff. I knew he would love it and we could play with it in my sandbox. Once I came home, I started to look for wrapping paper. I was determined to find the shiniest paper and wrap up Jeff's gifts with a big bow on top. My Mother told me that we did not have any wrapping paper. I was angry. So mad at my Mother, I started to stomp off. I was not going to Jeffery's birthday party if his gift wasn't wrapped.

Mom grabbed the old Sunday Paper and pulled out the comic section. She grabbed tape, scissors and red construction paper. I had no idea what she was doing. I was still mad at her.  She wrapped Jeff's gifts beautifully in the comic strip and cut out a bow from the construction paper.

That little gesture and thoughtfullnes turned my frown around. I was so happy and I had the coolest wrapped present at the birthday party. Thanks Mom for all the wonderful smart things you do.

Need gift wrapping ideas? Check this out: How-to-Wrap-A-Gift-When-You-Have-Run-Out-of-Wrapping-Paper

• Are you tired of getting mixed messages about anti aging secrets? What if you could age gracefully and do it naturally without a cart full of chemically laden facial creams and serums?
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The Little Boy in the Yellow Raincoat

RF_LL Dreamstime.com

When I was young, my mother was fond of taking us to the beach on weekends during the summer. It was her way to hang out with her friend Selma on weekends and be able to drink wine all day. Big jugs of Carlo Rossi were dragged onto the shore along with our sand pails and shovels. 
Selma and Mom drank and sunbathed while my two sisters, one brother and I played with Selma's two boys. We never seemed to mind when my Mom and Selma drank since it allowed them to be more generous with their wallet. They always shooed us off by handing us money for popsicles or the carousel or pinball machines and that was certainly fine by us. After a long day at the beach we would drive back to our campsites where Mom and Selma would prepare steamed lobsters or clams with corn on the cob for dinner. Summers at the beach were living the good life. 
One particular day at the beach ended in rain as early evening set in. We piled into the car with plans to stop at the grocery store for the evening's supper. After our purchases were made, it was dark and still raining. Both my Mother and Selma wore glasses. Their vision at night certainly was not envied by any of us kids who did not need glasses. Their vision was moderate to say the least. Driving back to the campsite was dreary. Suddenly my Mother shouted.
"Selma, watch out for the little boy in the yellow raincoat on the side of the road!"
Selma swerved a little to the left and slowed down the car. As we all looked to the right side of the road looking for a little boy in a raincoat thoughts ran through our heads: What kind of mommy would let a little boy be outside on a night like tonight?

It was the kind of mommy that a firefighter would be proud of. Our little boy in the yellow raincoat was nothing more than a fire hydrant!
Mom has not been able to live that one down to this day!

• Are you tired of getting mixed messages about anti aging secrets? What if you could age gracefully and do it naturally without a cart full of chemically laden facial creams and serums?
• Is your body aching beyond its years? Antioxidants can naturally help to relieve aches and pains.
• Over 2,000,000 people have been harmed by taking prescription drugs. 

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Maple Bacon Ice Cream

Mom says "Have you ever tried maple bacon ice cream?"

"No, Gross!"

"I bought some to take to South Carolina when I fly down to see your nephew and pick up my new car." My mother bought a new car from my brother-in-law. She only had to fly 1000 miles to go pick it up!

"Won't they take it from you at the airport? It is a liquid!"  

"No, it is frozen solid in my mini cooler."

"Um, ok!"

"A-holes took the ice cream at the airport saying it wasn't solid enough!" Mom texts me in suprise!

Don't say I didn't warn you! Really, Mom! 

• Are you tired of getting mixed messages about anti aging secrets? What if you could age gracefully and do it naturally without a cart full of chemically laden facial creams and serums?
• Is your body aching beyond its years? Antioxidants can naturally help to relieve aches and pains.
• Over 2,000,000 people have been harmed by taking prescription drugs. 

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I Get No Respect!

This is an added note to correct an earlier post. I stated that my Mother sleeps with three dogs, I forgot the cat. She sent me the picture with this note:

"I get no respect. Where do i fit in to this picture? Hope u all sleep well!"

Mom, you do it to yourself! Lol. If it were me, those buggers would be on the floor! 

• Are you tired of getting mixed messages about anti aging secrets? What if you could age gracefully and do it naturally without a cart full of chemically laden facial creams and serums?
• Is your body aching beyond its years? Antioxidants can naturally help to relieve aches and pains.
• Over 2,000,000 people have been harmed by taking prescription drugs. 

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NOT a Dog Bracelet!

I Have been making jewelry. I made a lot of it while I was in college and I loved doing it. It has been years since I picked up the pliers and strung anything together. I decided to take part of my tax return and invest in the right tools and beads to create my jewelry. I chose Swarovski crystals and sterling silver to work with because I wanted jewelry that was not only valuable because of it being original but also of high quality. I sent this image to my mother because she was curious to see what I had been working on. Here's what she said:




"Bracelet for dog? Very pretty!" my mother is obsessed with her dogs. She makes them special meals, sings lullabies to them before they go to bed. All three dogs sleep with her. They have special collars and clothing for special events. Sometimes it is too much because she eats, sleeps and dreams her dogs!

"No, not for dog. It's got sterling silver and glass beads. It's for me!"

"Oh, ok. Still pretty!"

"Gee, thanks!"  

• Are you tired of getting mixed messages about anti aging secrets? What if you could age gracefully and do it naturally without a cart full of chemically laden facial creams and serums?
• Is your body aching beyond its years? Antioxidants can naturally help to relieve aches and pains.
• Over 2,000,000 people have been harmed by taking prescription drugs. 

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Happy Pill

My brother has been battling demons in the form of depression for years. The doctor finally found a medicine that works for him and he is doing very well. In some form all of my family suffers from depression or anxiety. Mom included. Here's what she texted me when I told her that I was happy for my brother.

"Back then who knew? I ate lunch in the girls' room all senior year. Hated the Happy Clickers. I clung to Dad: Two peas in a pod!"


"Maybe I need to ask the Doctor for the same medication?" I told her.

"Maybe the family riddle is solved!" she wrote back.


"We all suffer. Why is it that we are all so talented but can't seem to focus?"

"High IQ's. A lot of people who fight this are extremely intelligent."

So I blog about it instead of medicating myself with prescription drugs. Therapeutic writing! My choice is better than many of the options people choose to self medicate themselves with. Happy blogging!

• Are you tired of getting mixed messages about anti aging secrets? What if you could age gracefully and do it naturally without a cart full of chemically laden facial creams and serums?
• Is your body aching beyond its years? Antioxidants can naturally help to relieve aches and pains.
• Over 2,000,000 people have been harmed by taking prescription drugs. 

Fight back and age gracefully with The Anti-Aging Phenomenon

Internet Dating

"My friend met a guy online who she is interested in dating. His name is Ron. His ex, Sandy, works with you. You should hear the stuff he told her. He told her he is broken hearted because she left him after meeting a guy in a bar." Mom sent me this in the end of February. I work with this woman and it is her ex that is crazy not her. She left because he has cheated on her several times. So he reverses his drama to get attention.

"I told her. She said he was needy. She thought my comments were about Sandy. Then I told her what u knew so i guess she is backing off."  What I knew was that he has contacted over 100 women online, threatened to hurt Sandy, stolen her property, threw away her cell phone, broke into her email accounts and has tried to turn the children against her.

"She told him to leave her alone."

"Great...that would have been a dangerous road to travel!"

I have changed the names and scenario a bit to protect those involved. I often reflect on life and always feel a relief knowing that I am not the only one with skeletons in my closet. My friend is doing well. She has a new boyfriend who is sane and attentive. Her children are starting to see just how crazy their father has been to their mother. 
Normally, my posts are humorous. I posted this one because I was so amazed at how small our world really is. The chances of my mother's friend meeting this guy online and having him be someone we knew must have been remote. It scares me to think how many women and men are online looking for love and are so vulnerable. 
If you date online, be safe. Always let someone know the name and number of the person you met online before you go to meet them. Practice safe sex and don't take everything a new person in your life tells you for face value. 

• Are you tired of getting mixed messages about anti aging secrets? What if you could age gracefully and do it naturally without a cart full of chemically laden facial creams and serums?
• Is your body aching beyond its years? Antioxidants can naturally help to relieve aches and pains.
• Over 2,000,000 people have been harmed by taking prescription drugs. 

Fight back and age gracefully with The Anti-Aging Phenomenon

Million Dollar Idea

"Saw a great idea for ice build up on roof either throw or put out a window onto roof small paper bags filled w melt pellets. They will melt through ice." Mom's text to me on 2/3/2011

"I just need to throw my landlord up there with a shovel.Lol. Saw on news that over 60 roofs have collapsed in Western MA from snow." my reply.

"So I want u and me to make balls filled w snow pellets. Need to come up with a great name. U know someone is going to do it. Shingle Savers? Weight Lifters?" Mom again.

"Roofies?" Mom texted me back before I could reply.

"Roofies are a drug that date rapists use. LOL" 

"I know 'knock out ice it melts!'" She is on a roll! 

"Ice knocker outers?" I had to put my two cents in.

"What should we enclose the beads in? Something that disintegrates like the wrappers on dish washer detergent which your brother says is cornstarch."

"Yep. Gelatin like vitamin e capsules. We could put salt in bottle rockets so the salt lands on the roof when they explode." Sometimes I just have to go with it. I am my Mother's daughter after all.

"Good one!" 

And that is where today's text messaging tidbit from my Mother ends. Honestly, I can say that this cheered me up. I was having a somewhat blah day. Leave it to my Mom to come to the rescue. If I see an infomercial on television in the next two months about "Shingle Savers", I will never hear the end of it!

• Are you tired of getting mixed messages about anti aging secrets? What if you could age gracefully and do it naturally without a cart full of chemically laden facial creams and serums?
• Is your body aching beyond its years? Antioxidants can naturally help to relieve aches and pains.
• Over 2,000,000 people have been harmed by taking prescription drugs. 

Fight back and age gracefully with The Anti-Aging Phenomenon








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Doggie Do Do

I'm being asphyxiated by Chevy (mom's dog) farts. Yr brother fed him then I did. He's pooped 5 times. It smells like "louise" after eating the squirrel. Mom's text on 2/2/2011

LOL. who is Louise? me

I have been awake all night. he's having diarrhea everywhere. Kath's friend had a dog Louise, who ate squirrels and farted always.

Don't remember that

No? she ate squirrels she was a little dog that would cut terrible wind but the owners never removed her. They'd say "oh thats just Louise!" Haha

Thanks for the memories, Mother! In fact, I am repulsed. Ugh. Dog farts are one of the most vile smells on earth and I didn't need to read about any of this! LMAO
P.S. This is the text I woke up to find on my phone. Unpleasant enough but worse before my first cup of coffee!

Can't wait to see what she texts me tomorrow!

• Are you tired of getting mixed messages about anti aging secrets? What if you could age gracefully and do it naturally without a cart full of chemically laden facial creams and serums?
• Is your body aching beyond its years? Antioxidants can naturally help to relieve aches and pains.
• Over 2,000,000 people have been harmed by taking prescription drugs. 

Fight back and age gracefully with The Anti-Aging Phenomenon

Snow Day

i hope we do thurs though i have cabin fever do u know what time your niece's recital sat since they never call me Mom's text 2/1/2011

didnt know she had one my reply

yeah i can get $5 rabies shot in keene so may come later when u work? Mom's reply to my reply

when? what? me again

on sat. mom

12-6 me

snow on roof of pantry mom (attachment of picture posted on left)


Yes, that is the text message conversation between my mother and I during the awful snow storm that hit New England. A recital, rabies shots, work schedule, a Saturday visit and the snow accumulation outside of my Mother's pantry were covered in 9 lines of text, albeit skewed!
Are you bewildered? I guess it takes growing up with my Mom in order to see this as normal.
I lied...still haven't gotten used to it!

• Are you tired of getting mixed messages about anti aging secrets? What if you could age gracefully and do it naturally without a cart full of chemically laden facial creams and serums?
• Is your body aching beyond its years? Antioxidants can naturally help to relieve aches and pains.
• Over 2,000,000 people have been harmed by taking prescription drugs. 

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This is the message that started it all...

What's happening in Egypt? Mom's text on 1/30/2011

Really, Mom? She doesn't say "HI" or "How are you?" No, my mother wants me to fill her in on events happening half way around the world. As if I had personal experience! How do you respond to that in a text message?

Hi Mom, The people of Egypt have been inspired by protests that ousted the dictator of Tunisia, Zine El Abidine Ben Ali. They are tired of poverty, corruption, and an autocratic gov't. They would like democracy. Obama will have a tough time supporting change since previous ties 2 Egypt included over a billion $ in military aid from the U.S. This means if the gov't shoot protesters, it will be with U.S. equip. Egyptians want 2 topple Mubarak and so far the protests have become violent with many deaths reported.
Don't 4get we meet for lunch next wed.

After I read my mother's text, I jokingly said to my daughter that I was going to start a blog based on the texts my mother sends to me. She thought it was a good idea.

By the way, I never responded to my mother's text. Usually, when I see texts like this from her I ignore them because I don't have the energy to respond. Responding means that she will reply back, it is a never ending cycle. I also resist in responding because I would text back the first thing that came to mind. That reply would be too rude to send to my Mom. Here's what I wanted to write:

Mom, by the time I reply 2 this u could have turned on the frigging tv and watched the Egyptian events unfold on CNN. Even better, use the internet and Google it! What the hell is wrong with u?

Tune in next time to see what awaits me from my mother in her next messages. I know I am anxiously awaiting!

• Are you tired of getting mixed messages about anti aging secrets? What if you could age gracefully and do it naturally without a cart full of chemically laden facial creams and serums?
• Is your body aching beyond its years? Antioxidants can naturally help to relieve aches and pains.
• Over 2,000,000 people have been harmed by taking prescription drugs. 

Fight back and age gracefully with The Anti-Aging Phenomenon




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